Dabs and Dates with Rachel Wolfson

[00:13:10] 

[00:13:10] Hilarious. That is, I was like, oh, that's my nightmare. I, that actually happened to me. What reverse I was, so, I was dating this guy 2000

[00:13:23] 2012. Okay. Off Tinder? No. Okay. It was just, I was in a relationship. I met this guy and I was living in Florida at the time. Mm-hmm. This is like right around the time that dabs were hitting Florida. Mm-hmm. And I had friends that were like making dabs in their apartment, and I'm not saying that proudly, but anyway, so I had a dab rig and I started dating this guy and I bring him back to my place and he sees the rig and he's freaked out just like that girl.

[00:13:50] Like, Oh, I thought I thought you were like a good person. And, and I'm, I'm like, I thought you were a good person. And I'm like, it's just weed. And it's yeah, but it's the heroin of weed. And so I did a dab and I obviously, I, I think I offered it to him. I don't remember if he took it or not, but he made me be like, You need to get this out of your [00:14:10] life or we can't be together kind of thing.

[00:14:12] So when did you break up with him? Mm, a year and a half later. Whoa. But weed was like a problem in our relationship to him. Really? Yeah. He hated that. He thought I became a different person when I smoked weed. And it's like, no. I just realized you're a shitty person. I mean, I'm a different person. I'm just a little slower.

[00:14:30] I'm like a better person. He just, you know. But yeah. So was totally freaked out, looked at me like I was some kind of meth head or something. That's crazy. Yeah. I feel like I have the reverse of that in that alcohol has been a problem for me in my relationships. Not with me drinking, with the dudes.

[00:14:46] Drinking. Yeah. I dated alcoholics before. I mean, one guy was British, but that's an, that's another word for alcoholic. Yeah, that's, yeah. That's hard. That's hard cuz it's well that is part of the heritage. I was, I've never been more I've never been. In and out of the hospital more than when I dated an alcoholic.

[00:15:01] Because you were visiting him. No, we were just dating and I'm not a good drinker, but I dated an alcoholic and I didn't, I was in my twenties and I didn't, I don't think [00:15:10] I realized what was going on. Cause I was living in Florida and drinking and party culture is so common. Yeah.

[00:15:14] And so, but yeah, I, I would get alcohol poisoning a lot. No. Or like to the point where I just couldn't keep I, I would, I would, yeah, I think it would be considered alcohol poisoning and I would've to go to the hospital and get liquids and Yeah. And so in my twenties, specifically when I was like dating this.

[00:15:31] Person. And then I, I realize obviously I have a problem cuz I'm dating an alcoholic and now I'm alcoholic adjacent and I don't even like alcohol, so That's crazy. It was really, it was pretty easy for me to stop doing that, like after him and I stopped dating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You, this whole time you thought that you had a crazy allergy to alcohol and then you guys break up This whole time I thought I was in love and it turns out no, I just developed an addiction.

[00:15:52] Yeah. Although you got a lot of books say it's the same thing. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Mm-hmm. One's just in liquid form. Yeah. Oh my God. Yeah. I don't know, it's such a, I think I had a, a couple of boyfriends who just got too drunk and I had to deal with it for too long. And now like any time a guy gets.

[00:16:09] There's a [00:16:10] certain line, for drinking, and if they cross it. Oh, you mean if they pour themselves a to a drink, a before bed beverage? Oh, yes. Wait, yes, though. Red flag. Or yes. Every day they wake up and they can finish a, a 12 pack of beer, like it's water. And I'm like, oh, wow. It to me though, it's just so unattractive.

[00:16:27] I mean, some people are functioning alcoholics, like I'm a functioning stoner, but for me, I just, I'm not, I don't enjoy drinking culture like that. Yeah. Like I love one drink here or there. I'm a margarita, whatever. Beer, A burger. Yeah. But excessive drinking is hard. Yeah. Call me a loser. I am then, you know, I don't think that I would, I don't know if that makes me a loser.

[00:16:48] No, I don't think you, so, I, I mean, I don't, I'm not even, I forget now. Being sober is cool, but like, when I lived in Florida, they just encouraged the, you know, so it's I would never wanna go to the clubs. I, I would be, I would go to the bars, I would, I worked in restaurants and bars, but clubs, no, I'm not a club girl.

[00:17:03] I'm like, if you're my friend, you'll never ask me to go to the club. That's hilarious. Cuz I, one of the things that I have on [00:17:10] here is a story that I've not thought about in. Years. That is, I can't believe I'm gonna share it, but I went, one of my friends, I'm like 20 at this point, I think, I dunno.

[00:17:23] 20, maybe. I'm 21. One of my friends was dating Steve-O Mm. And so hilarious. We, we used to go out to the clubs. I can't really remember where we went, or I have weird flashes of we all got into I think a minivan or something, which doesn't make sense. Sounds about right. And we were hanging out with the European version of jackass.

[00:17:43] And I'm like looking at dudes who like don't have fingers and stuff and I'm like, this is so not mine. Normal. Yeah. So normal. And I You don't need all your fingers to finger someone, just one.

[00:17:51] Well, he didn't even do that, but but I ended up fucking one of the dudes sins. Oh hey, I know them. Oh yeah, yeah. Okay. And I woke up on Steve O's couch. Love that. So this was back in the club days. Yeah. And I was just, I'm sure very lit. And I don't really remember flirting with this [00:18:10] dude or whatever.

[00:18:10] I, I think he's hot and I like Googled him this morning and was like, no. Yeah, I'm, I don't regret this. What I do regret, and this is insane. I went through this phase of radical honesty, which I think was also just like radical bitches, oversharing. Yeah. And oversharing. And I think Mo you might have a heart attack when I say this.

[00:18:30] So, we're at his condo and it was like fully, like blackout curtains and huge kind of I think L-shaped leather couch. Don't really know why we decided to spend the night and have sex there. I, but we did at Steve O's place. Yeah. And at one point having sex with this guy, and I think he was like, are you like having fun or enjoying yourself?

[00:18:50] And I looked him in the face and I was like, actually I'm bored. Oh my God. Well, and he was like, what? And I was like, I'm just bored. And I was, I was bored. I kind of love that. Right. It's insane. I, I, I, I, yeah. And I don't really remember, I think we Were you, is it, were you so honest because you were intoxicated?

[00:19:09] [00:19:10] No, no, no, no, no. You was sober? Yeah. Oh, love that. I mean like I was probably intoxicated, but that has nothing to do with why I was honest. I was just going through a phase where I was always like, I don't know if you're having sex with somebody, it's kinda like the most vulnerable thing. So why do we hide anything?

[00:19:21] Right, if we're gonna fuck, we might as well just be honest. And so I was just like, yeah, this is not it like, I don't know, it's not doing it for me. And I remember he was on top and then he was like, should I stop? And I was like, no, you're nonstop. and it's like, you know, you have a show on in the background kind of while you're cleaning, while you're act, get actually getting work done.

[00:19:36] You know what I mean? A hundred. I mean, granted, I didn't really know shit about my body at that point. So I can't say it's entirely his fault. I would love to know if he remembers this at all. And I will say that that night is the reason why I only ever go out with sunglasses, just in case.

[00:19:52] it's a good night because the next morning I woke up. had no idea what time it was because again, all of the blackout curtains and everything. And I was texting a friend. s o s, this is a code red. I need to be picked up immediately. And I remember she didn't get there. Like we fucked up the timing a little bit.

[00:20:08] And I'm standing on Sunset [00:20:10] Boulevard, in my going out close and my heels with no sunglasses. And from then on, listen, if you're gonna do a walk of shame, there's certain accessories you need to I can need the sunglasses, do the walk. Yes. It's sunglasses. Probably a cigarette or a joint, you know, maybe a bible to cleanse your soul.

[00:20:28] Wet wipes for sure. Okay. Did not have wet wipes. Did not have, you just might wanna you know, take a little, little, the only thing I would've had would've been cigarettes at that time. Yeah. Which I don't smoke anymore. But yeah. So that's my We're not gonna blame the boredom on the dude sins.

[00:20:44] Completely. No, no, no. Okay. Look, no. Cause those guys are pretty like adventurous. You would think maybe that would translate into the bedroom. You would think, you know, I have no idea. And I, this is so not that type of podcast where I'm like, yeah, he sucked in bed. No, it's not that at all. It's just, I had not thought of it.

[00:21:04] Well, to be fair, you're on someone else's couch. Couch. It's like, you can't really blame the people. [00:21:10] No. It's like the situation's kind of off, you know what I mean? The situation was off also. I don't think we had any foreplay, which Yeah, wild. But also, I wasn't who I am now. If that was now, I would be like, okay, so this is what I'm into also, we're gonna need to do this.

[00:21:25] And I would never be like, I'm bored, right? I would be like, let's switch it up. Or let's do this. I feel like. I feel like there needs to be like a redemption fuck. I think he's married. Oh, well. So sorry, Mrs. Dodson. Yeah, I didn't mean that. Totally. I know. At some point I'll have to figure out, Hey, do you remember this at all?

[00:21:44] And if you do, I'm so sorry. Yeah. I'm sure I could have phrased that in another way. That would've been nicer. You, you mean? The when you told me you were bored was, and it hasn't inside of you and it hasn't left like it probably you might have changed his life after that Enma. He might have. He might have I don't know.

[00:22:02] Stepped it up. Got a little acrobatic in the bedroom. Who knows? Yeah. I mean, it was like missionary, so it was like now he's married. Yeah. So maybe. Oh, I'm [00:22:10] sure they're like, you probably going ham and all the did a part in that. I would love to think so. I think, I think that he probably just continued to plow some No, you're right.

[00:22:19] Tons of women and yeah. Yeah. Some bored, some not. Yeah. Yeah, sure. He, he was bored too, probably and stuff. I wish I could remember what happened after. like directly after he's said you said that, or, yeah. Just cuz I remember waking up on the couch next to him and being like, you gotta get outta here.

[00:22:36] Yeah. But I wonder how the transition from me being like, I'm bored to us falling asleep went. Mm. I would watch the short film on that. I feel like I would, I don't know what I would do in that situation. I'd probably just leave pack up my stuff. I know. By the way, why didn't I leave? I don't, I I would just.

[00:22:53] Yeah. If someone, if someone said they were bored while inside me, I would kill myself. No, I'm gonna end it right there. I mean, wow. This is the most, this is, this is supposed to be invigorating for both of us. Yeah. I mean, anyway, you need me lying here and doing nothing is boring. I know, by [00:23:10] the way, I was lying there and doing anything.

[00:23:11] That's what I was saying. So the fact that I was like, I'm bored. He probably was like, yeah, cuz you're not doing anything. Yeah. You, you're just sitting there waiting for your fucking number to be called like the dmv.

[00:23:23] To be fair, when you're on bottom like that, what really, what can you really do? You can just, what can you really do? I mean, you could grab their nipples maybe. I, I've, I've thought of a lot of creative things. You guys both grabbing each other my mouth, you know, I don't know. Just, yeah.

[00:23:39] Well, it's a learning lesson. It is a learning lesson. Although I have short arms, so I am limited by things I can do by my little t-Rex arms. Okay. Okay. Okay. Yeah, you're gonna have to improvise. Maybe use your feet. Ooh, that's a great transition for all of your fans. Oh, right. Great. Speaking of, speaking of, how ticklish are you on your feet?

[00:23:58] Oh, God, I, I, I don't want to know. I am ticklish. I hate being tickled. I'm traumatized cuz I feel like family members would like tickle me as a kid. Oh. Not in a sexual way, but you know, I love that. Like, We're just gonna come on and your [00:24:10] cancel your whole family. I know your parents will come up in the which I'm like, I fucking hate tickling.

[00:24:13] Me too now because of that. I think it's, I think it's like an eighties, nineties thing, you know? Now you can't tickle kids and Yeah. You can't really look at kids. You can't do anything with kids Nowaday. No. Honestly, I back that I do feel let's just keep them off limits. Yeah. Um, but my feet I would say my back's more ticklish.

[00:24:28] Mm. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, back to the, back to the story. Yeah. Okay. So have you, that's, I guess this is like never happened to you because your tolerance for wheat has always just been sky high. Which part? What hasn't happened to me getting stuck on a date? Because you were too high. Oh, oh, oh. Let's see.

[00:24:45] I've never been stuck on a date because I'm, I'm too high. I've probably been stuck on a date because I'm like trying to figure out how to get out of the date. Mm. If that makes sense. I think there's only one date I went on when I was living in Florida and have known this guy.

[00:25:00] Cause I used to work at this restaurant. I was a hostess and he would come into the restaurant and try and get me to go out on a date with him. And I just like, this guy's trouble. He's a spoiled, rich, [00:25:10] like ultra rich you know, seems like he's on drugs. finally, after him pastoring me, I was like, all right, I'll go out on one date with him, and then that way I can be like, all right, I, I went out on one date, whatever.

[00:25:20] Yeah. This is before like I didn't, I thought he was just like, I didn't know the drug thing until I showed up to his place to meet him, which I was like, this is also a red flag. showed up to his place. I'm in my twenties. Mind you, a lot of dumb dating in your twenties. I mean, I, it's kind of what it's for.

[00:25:34] Yeah. So I could tell he was on, it seemed like he was on pills, like a Xanax or something, and I was, you could tell that at that age. Yeah, I'm living in Florida, everyone's on Xanax and Touche. Touche. And pill culture is very popular in Florida. I was, I was never really into pills. I've always just been into weed.

[00:25:50] But yeah, you could tell he was just like, kind of out of it or whatever, and I'm like, fuck. So It's awkward cuz like when you're in your twenties, you almost don't have the confidence enough yet to assert yourself, especially in front of a guy because you're afraid of what's gonna happen.

[00:26:03] And in a lot of ways you know, maybe physically what's gonna happen, maybe, you know, he's gonna tell everyone, you know mm-hmm. Your cohort. Mm-hmm. You know, you don't know whatever the [00:26:10] situation is. But the reason why you don't do something like that is based out of fear. Right? Yeah. So, we're also just not I feel like the younger generation now of women have been raise, raised Oh, they're way, they're way more assertive with No, it's, it's just, it's much better.

[00:26:23] Yeah. the younger generation, I understands the idea of consent. Whereas growing up, I don't think guys my age and previous generations really even knew what the term was. I or even heard that so many guys got laid simply because people didn't have a ride home. Mm-hmm. And there's also so many, more defined definitions of rape that we didn't have.

[00:26:40] Sure, yes. Yeah. So it's you know, men be raping women getting raped, and Yeah. They have an entire generation just wasn't educated on what was really happening. Right. For her. Yeah. And so, so for me, I think my thing was is I met him at his apartment, which obviously this is something that after this point I knew never to do.

[00:26:56] No, never take a meeting, never go, never meet someone on a date at their home if you're, you know, just I wouldn't. Yeah. Yeah. Now it's like, let's just meet at the restaurant. Let's just, you know, whatever. Mm-hmm. So I just wanted to get out there. So I was like, okay, let's just go to the [00:27:10] restaurant. So We get out.

[00:27:10] He invites his friend on the date. No. Yeah. So not only is he fucked up out of his mind, he has his friend there. And I'm like, who invites like a friend on a date? It's almost like I do that when I'm like, this is not going anywhere. Abort. I wanna, it's weird for a guy to do it, eject anyways, so the guy, so his friend starts showing some interest in me cuz this guy's fucked up out of his mind and he's just like, you can't even you can't even have a conversation, conversation with him and his friend is engaging with me and a normal person and he's getting jealous that his friend is just simply who he invited on the date.

[00:27:40] What was he supposed to do? Just sit there. Yeah. And listen to us not have a conversation. That's crazy. But yeah, so I can't remember. I think you know, the date ended me and these two guys who I didn't even realize I was going on a date with both of them. And yeah, I, I don't think I ever talked to him again.

[00:27:56] I think he unfriended me. Wow. What a move. I just wouldn't respond to don't wanna hang out with him. Did you ever see the other friend? I don't think so. I mean, not I never kept in touch with, I just wanted nothing to do with this guy. I think it was like, okay, I'll finally go out on a date with [00:28:10] you and then we can see it doesn't, this isn't Anything and to get it out of his system. Cuz this guy was so persistent and I think. That does sometime it, it's called wearing a person down. Yeah. You know what I mean? That's a form of manipulation. And I think some guys do use that, and probably girls too, but mainly guys they won't give up.

[00:28:28] They think it's like a romantic thing, but it's if I've said no once, why would you keep trying? Yeah. You know? some guys don't take no as No. Right. It's like, no. Oh, you, you're challenging me. It's so weird because I will say that the reverse of that is if I'm in a relationship with someone and I say no, or I say I'm mad at you, I do expect you to come back and try to apologize.

[00:28:48] Okay. So that's that's confusing. That's, that's, that's, that's where I think, Hollywood's kind of perpetuated a hundred percent where it's I call it the snow white syndrome, right? You'll break up with a guy or kick him out, but you want him to come Yes.

[00:28:59] Running after you. Yes. And, and almost persistently a hundred and it's show up with that boombox baby. Right. Let's do this. Yeah. So, no, but it's fucked. Yeah. And it's taken me a really long time to try and realize that [00:29:10] and unprogram that. And I'm obviously over communicative and I'm different now, but even when I talk to friends and they're playing games, I'm like, you gotta stop because mm-hmm.

[00:29:20] These guys don't know. So my thing is, is I'm all about I think a guy should be able to shoot a shot one time. Sure. And then after that whatever the response is, you have to respect that kind of thing. And vice versa, girl, if she wants to shoot a shot with a guy, you have to accept whatever the answer it may be.

[00:29:35] cuz some guys now of course of a certain generation are like, oh, we can't even hit on girls anymore. It's yeah, you can hit on a girl, of course, but you have to, of course you have to accept her answer, yes or no. And I, I think you should shoot your shot.

[00:29:45] you know, you know, but Totally. And if you're bad at it, that's on you. And after that, everyone should just respect whatever the re response is. Totally. You know, and if, as a woman, no should mean no. Don't give a guy no. When you want him to be, to say yes. Yes. Yeah.

[00:29:59] Don't send mixed signals, you know? Yeah. And so, yeah, I think it's just different now, hopefully in a better way for the next generation future, Jen. Yeah. But did you date at all [00:30:10] when you were in la or did you meet Matt pretty fast? I'm a serial dater in that I pretty much had been in relationship since I was like 15.

[00:30:16] Really? You just, you just like, yeah, it's called mental illness, but it's, can't spell mental illness about the word men. Right. 

[00:30:23] I read somewhere if you , line up all your exes in a row. It's, it's a brief. Intake to your mental health history. so yeah, I've been in relationships the last, like a year or two. And then, sorry, I just, like that really, did, did it hit you? I was like, or no? Yeah. I literally saw a lineup of all my exes and was like, yeah, we would call that. Yeah. It's a peek into your mental health history if you, if you look at it.

[00:30:43] Huh. and then what do you do? What's the next step after that? I try to be single, you know, I try to be single, but then I find myself in relationships. But All right. With Matt. So, so when I moved to LA, I moved. In with a guy. Whoa. That was the guy who hated the dabs. Oh yeah. And he was the, he's the only guy that I thought, cuz I was when I met him.

[00:31:07] And on paper he seemed like the [00:31:10] guy that I should marry. Wow. And so, and my parents really liked him and it made sense. what does that mean to you, the guy on paper? come from similar backgrounds.

[00:31:18] We were both Jewish we both had similar interests. And he seemed to be, A good guy. I've, and I'm Jewish, but I'm not religious at all. Mm-hmm. And I never really dated any Jewish guys until him, he was like the first Jewish guy I ever dated. And I was like, okay, why not see what the hype is about?

[00:31:36] You know, like, why is everyone always pushing me, man? Why is everyone always pushing me to do this? Yeah. And it turned out to like not be, um, a great relationship, but it had highs and lows and he had his issues. And obviously I had mine in that I was 26 and he expected a lot more from me.

[00:31:52] Mm-hmm. I feel like the highs and lows things, it's it doesn't matter what the high, how high the high is, it's how low. Low is very, very low. Yeah. And, and on both ends and that okay, he was six years older than me dating a 30 or a 26 year old expecting me to have like my life figured out.

[00:32:05] Mm-hmm. And I was expecting him to understand that I didn't Yeah. You know? Yeah. And [00:32:10] so, it was like that. So we dated for probably like a year and a half and. I moved out when we broke up and I got my own apartment. that was kind of my dream mm-hmm.

[00:32:20] Was to always have my own apartment in LA and figure out what working in the entertainment industry would mean look like. Yeah. not like I like woke up and was like, I wanna be a comedian. I fell into all of that. Mm. And so, when I moved out here, I wasn't even in comedy.

[00:32:34] I had a marketing degree. I wanted to work in entertainment, whatever that meant. And when I started dating this guy, that's when I started having this inner monologue of like, up stand up, stand up. Was he not into that? Mm. It's not that he wasn't into that, it's just I had such low self-esteem in that relationship that you didn't have the balls to try it.

[00:32:51] I, it's, it's not even the balls, it was just more it was more like I always had the balls, but I didn't, I was too sad, you know? So, that's crazy. I dated somebody that really chipped away slowly at a lot of the projects, cuz I sell TV shows and do all these other things.

[00:33:07] And that relationship I looked [00:33:10] back, like got healthy and was like, wait a second, this is so fucked. If I had been encouraged, I would be so much further along. It's crazy how the person that's close to you mm-hmm. When they neg you like that in some ways he would Come off as supportive, but it would and at the same vein, he would come up and pinch certain parts of my body and be like, oh, you're getting there.

[00:33:30] Or you know, implying that I'm getting back into sh you know, so it was like highs and lows, right? in some ways he would, say I could do whatever and be amazing or whatever. But there would be elements of he would try to find a way to kind of bring me down a caveat to that.

[00:33:43] Yeah. Yeah. like, make sure I'm always like, kept down here you can do anything, but oh, Rachel, you're not that funny. Or whatever it is. It was never not that funny. It was like about my body I've always been funny. No offense to all of my ex-boyfriends, but you've al also probably always been hot.

[00:33:55] I mean, no, I, I figured it out. Okay. I got it in my mind. I was a tomboy for most of my life. I never gave a shit really about, you know, any of this. And I still don't. I'm, I dress for comfort, you the hot girl is been [00:34:10] bestowed upon me. It's never like, oh, I'm a hot girl.

[00:34:12] You know what I mean? And even still people be like, she's a four, so it's it's all relevant. That's, sorry. Those are like, no, the internet, those are faceless avatars. It coming from a basement, you know? But but, but either way, like my favorite is mid, mid, mid, yeah. Or hit a wall. It's okay, I've been in jackass.

[00:34:28] You're supposed to hit walls. So, I'm sorry, it doesn't matter. Yeah. But um, he was very critical of my body, so that was wow. And that's something that know I don't know. I just, I, I was 26 and I didn't have my shit figured out, but we broke up.

[00:34:39] I ended up my own apartment, and then I ended up rebounding into another toxic relationship. And that lasted probably like a year or so. And then, then Wow. Okay. A minute. I was really messed up from my relationship because I really thought I might marry this guy.

[00:34:53] Mm. And the guy who I moved out to LA with, and. And so I, didn't even realize like the patterns that I was falling into, of course. You know, I'm just thinking, oh, you just date and then maybe you'll end up finding the one. But and what was the pattern That I just jumped from relationship to relationship.

[00:35:09] And it's not what [00:35:10] the, it's not like my intention is oh, I need to be with someone. I would just find myself falling into these situations. Sure, sure. And so, and even I would say out loud, in between the times where I would go through breakups, like I don't wanna date, I really just wanna take time for myself because I have spent so much of my twenties with someone?

[00:35:26] With someone, yeah. And really delaying, finding the process of who I am. that relationship ended and after that relationship ended, I remember talking to the manager of the Hollywood Improv, cuz this is when I started doing standup. And I was like, I do not want to date anymore, please.

[00:35:41] And then she ended up setting me up with my no ex-boyfriend. And that was like right as I started getting into comedy. And he had dated a comedian prior, so for him, he was not interested in, he was not as supportive as it was more like he hated that when he got home from work, I wasn't there. Yeah, yeah.

[00:35:59] And that I would go to work kind of thing. Right, right. And he had already gone through that. and I just started getting into standup. Our relationship just started. So I don't think he thought like it would culminate to, I don't think he thought, I don't know what he [00:36:10] thought, but I found myself in the beginning of, My standup career making bad choices in terms of choosing my relationship over my art.

[00:36:17] Mm-hmm. I I was like, this is not in line with my values and my morals because this is absolutely something I'm just never wanna do. And so, we didn't, you know, we didn't date for very long, probably like less than a year. I think he ended up cheating on me with someone at work. And I think they're still together, but that's who he was probably supposed to be with.

[00:36:33] I was never gonna be, you know, oftentimes, guys have dated me thinking that I'm one way and I'm not, or that they can make me into the girl that they want me to be. Like that the housewife I dated for what? I dated this, this very lovely, lovely, I did this Brazilian guy when I was living in Florida.

[00:36:50] Love him, you know, from afar. But sure, he wanted me to always be tan and have my nails be French and morph me into this like person that it's like sometimes I don't, here I have French nails, but sometimes I didn't want to go to the gym, or maybe I'm not gonna go out tanning.

[00:37:05] It's I'm kind of floored by how many men in your dating past, I [00:37:10] dated a lot of really controlling men in my twenties. That is wild to me. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Just because, I mean, we don't know each other very well, but you seem super assertive, really confident. Really strong. Well, that's why none of them ever worked out.

[00:37:21] Cause I was very, they would call me combative, which I probably was because I, they were trying to change you. Right. And so, me and my ex broke up who was like, not really supportive of this standup thing. And I was single for, mm, couple months, maybe, probably not that long. But I was, I was really like, I'm not doing this again.

[00:37:42] Yeah. And then Matt Waltz is in, that's an interesting story Which ties into, I think, some of the stuff that you have on that paper, because I had met Matt when I was in that prior relationship, and he was in a prior relationship. Mm-hmm. We met at the store one night, the comedy store.

[00:37:54] His best friend was dating my good friend at the time. Cool. And so we were just hanging out. And my friend wanted a picture of me and her together. So Matt was gonna take a picture and he took a selfie of himself. And so I have that picture on my phone. Aw. And after that, we never communicated.

[00:38:07] I think maybe he like, followed me on social media [00:38:10] that night, but like time had passed and me and my ex broke up and I, for some reason couldn't get Matt out of my mind. This person I had, had one one run in with. And then you're over like years later maybe.

[00:38:25] I just, for some re it was kind of like how standup came into my life. It was like, it just started and it was like at a low volume and then it kept getting louder and louder and louder and I couldn't ignore it. And I was like, why is his name in my head all the time? And I've never even, is it that you would just see his Instagrams or something and be like, he's hot or I he's not really like a, a serial poster.

[00:38:45] Yeah. So maybe I would see it, but like at the time I was like opening for Jeff Garland a little bit and I knew that Matt was his opener. Mm-hmm. But I, again, like I didn't know much about him, but I, I just remember he was in the ether. Yeah. I think I had heard that he was asking about me at some point, but they were like, she has a boyfriend and then, you know, he was like, yeah, whatever.

[00:39:06] So, um, I dmd him love that move [00:39:10] because, I think I found out that he was going through a breakup or he had broken up with his girlfriend.  And so I dmd him and what I DMD him was his own name. No. Yeah. I was like Matt Edgar.

[00:39:21] And what did he respond back pointing to himself? Emoji. And then what happened? Nothing that was just it. I sent his name. I sent his own name and I think I was just like, it was like a lonely night. I don't know. It was like late at night or something. I think I sent him his name and he didn't reply back in the time that like I had set up was an appropriate response for me to yeah, yeah, yeah.

[00:39:39] I love we all have that to like, actually I think that's actually really good advice. Think this is a good idea. No, I think that's really good. Well, maybe not with the dms, but for me, if a guy ever asks me out on a date, but then he doesn't solidify this time this what, whatever I give myself a date and if he crosses it, I'm making other plans.

[00:39:53] Yeah. You know, so, so then I think I just like never replied back to it. And , I ended up asking Jeff about Matt and he was like, ah, it's perfect him And he just got out of a relationship and he's moving to New York. And I was like, Jeff, that's. That's not perfect. I live [00:40:10] in LA but yeah, this was four, four years ago.

[00:40:14] Jeff's the reason why I have the TV that I have. What he was at cafe 1 0 1 with Jackie Tone once. Oh, that's so funny. And I just walked to the table and he was he says something about the best deals. And I was like, wait, what? I was like, hold on. And I pulled up my phone, whatever, any, anyway, I I listened to him.

[00:40:27] I love that. And so that's the TV that I have. That is so funny. It's random. I have some questions that I got for you. Listen does it negatively affect your relationship when one person you becomes famous overnight?

[00:40:39] I feel like I'm not famous. Is that weird? I feel like, no, it's not weird. I feel like. What is fame anymore? Right? Because I know, I feel like there's moms in Milwaukee with 4 million, right? Instagram followers. How many times can I say I feel like but I, so here's the thing with, with Matt and I, for example, Matt has been a comedian for 15 years.

[00:41:00] He's gone really, really good at the art. I mean, he's very funny. He's so funny. Yeah. I mean, he, he's doing it for, that's probably why I follow him double the amount of time that I have. Yeah. So for [00:41:10] me, he's really gotten good at this art form. And for me, I got this bump of attention, right?

[00:41:15] Mm-hmm. And so ultimately you want both. So, for me, Matt is the perfect partner in that he is stoked on everything that's happened. I love that. And. Super supportive. Whereas I think other relationships I've been in would be extremely competitive, jealous or competitive and would not know how to handle it.

[00:41:35] Matt is just the best. So I think that's why it's the la the longest relationship I've ever been in. Mm-hmm. Because he is super patient and supportive and like I felt there was any inkling of competitiveness or jealousy or anything like that, it just wouldn't work out. It's too toxic. I'm not saying that we haven't had moments where we're feeling bad about ourselves cuz we're both comedians of course.

[00:41:57] But there's, that can happen and also still be supportive for each other. everything that he gets he fucking deserves and I want him to like, Know that, you know, and vice versa. So I date to this guy who was in a [00:42:10] major, major franchise movie like massive.

[00:42:12] Like I had to see him everywhere On billboards, no, on billboards, in bookstores, just, oh no, everywhere. It's my nightmare everywhere. And when he became really famous, he stopped holding my hand in public stop. I'm not kidding. Well then you su stopped sucking his dick in private. mo Mogue Yes. He agrees with that. Yeah. That is true. And that's what I mean. We was, that was the beginning of the end. But it was, it was, pretty awful. He tweeted something. I was like, if he won't kiss you in public, don't let him eat your ass in private, you know? Yeah. So love that mantra. Favorite position and why?

[00:42:47] Favorite position? C No, I'm just kidding. Everyone's like c e o c e l. Probably the one where I don't have to do that much. You're like, you're like, on my back. I'm bored. Yeah. Like exactly the deens. Uh, Yeah. I don't know. I mean, whatever feels best, cool. Love that answer. It's the truth.

[00:43:04] Okay. Condom or no condom? I have thoughts on this because somebody wrote that in both condom [00:43:10] for when you're, maybe having a one night stand or maybe it's something you both just agree on because maybe she's not on birth control or whatever. But no condom. I guess. I don't know if I'm gonna get in trouble, but if I'm in a relationship for a while, we don't use condoms.

[00:43:26] I'm on birth control. Yeah, me either. Sorry. I have an i u D if I'm with somebody, but I will say this, for whoever wrote this in, best sex I've ever had in my life has all been with dudes who use condoms. Really? Yes, 100%. And I mean, probably cause they're having more sex. A hundred. Yes. yeah.

[00:43:41] But I also, when I say best sex, I don't just mean penetrative sex, right? I mean these are the men that. Are the best at going down on me, fingering me, all of it. So it's funny, it sounds like they care. Yeah. You know, So when I think about guys who are like, I don't wanna use a condom.

[00:43:55] I'm like, you don't wanna be in that category. Yeah. Like actually you're putting yourself in a category of dudes who can't Fuck. Yeah. So just agree saying that Should asexuals have their own app for non-romantic dating things. Yeah, I know. I think so too. Isn't that don't they have [00:44:10] the best friends, like you meet friends Yeah.

[00:44:11] Bumble BFF or something. Yeah. I don't, I don't even know. I, I might have made that up. I haven't been Bumble and forever. I, I met someone who was asexual recently. I said, it's better to be asexual than bisexual.

[00:44:21] Is that the tagline? Did I make a motto? I love that. Yeah. 

[00:44:27] Okay. What is your favorite killer move? sliding into someone's dms and saying their own name. Try it. Love it. Love it. killer date? Not a comedy show. No. Yeah, because you can't even talk on a, yeah.

[00:44:40] I think dinner's great. Somewhere that's a vibe. I like the beach. I like a day date too. that's like my nightmare. A day date. Oh, oh, the beach. Yeah, the beach. I mean, well, I guess, like going somewhere and doing something like maybe walking around the boardwalk.

[00:44:55] Cause you can get food and drinks and stuff. Mm-hmm. I like when there's like an activity, so o o other than a movie. Yeah. You know what I mean? Where it's it kind of takes the edge off of like having to come up with stuff. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Date killer. Ooh. one time I was on a [00:45:10] date with this guy and he asked me if I believed in God, and I was like, I'm atheist. And that shut down the date right there. And I'm not saying that that's not, that, that was probably like his version of I'm bored. You know what I mean? Yeah. And like after that, he like wanted nothing.

[00:45:29] I think he thought I was like, worse than Satan and, and I'm, I, I was in my twenties. I'm definitely like more spiritual and open now. I'm not like, I'm not like super oh, there's no God. I just I don't, I don't care to I know that, you know? Yeah. But I think that maybe on the first date, leave some room for intrigue.

[00:45:46] Mm. I love that. Yeah. Right. Some mystery because on Matt and I's first date, this was something that I hadn't done before, and I'm not saying you should do that, but we were in our thirties, so on our first date, it was actually at Jeff's house and we stayed up all night talking I knew that at that point he was leaving to go to New York in three months.

[00:46:03] So it felt like time wasn't necessarily on our side in terms of getting to know each other. So I just overshared everything. Like let's see if [00:46:10] he likes it, you know? Yeah. Let's see if this, any of this scares him away. Right. So, I mean, did he not go to New York or he just came back?

[00:46:16] He went to New York. He ended up going to New York for this was in 2019. He ended up going to New York for three months and then he came back the pandemic hit. So we stayed in la Whoa. Whoa with me. Mm-hmm. Okay. So I guess the pandemic helped two people. I mean, it was really tough. That was the beginning of our relationship, and then we ended up having to move in with my parents.

[00:46:36] Whoa. Mm-hmm. And that's like how we started our relationship in my parents' house. No. Mm-hmm. Because I was living in a 400 square foot apartment and Matt and I were like, oh, you staying there together, kill each other. Yeah. And it was right as the pandemic hit and everything was shut down and we just could all, we had to, we can only stay inside all day.

[00:46:53] So I was like, why don't we just go back to Vegas for a while and stay with my parents. Are you writing that TV show? I'm writing AV show, but yeah, that one won't be next. That's wild. What's one thing you're working on to improve your relationship, So I'm in therapy. I have something called borderline [00:47:10] personality disorder.

[00:47:11] And I was diagnosed Years ago, but after misdiagnosis of bipolar, you know, I was being medicated for something I never had. That's a whole nother podcast, but damn dude. Borderline, it really affects you know, relationship. You know How so? Because I, so, I have problems with emotional regulation, so I, I, I get I, I don't even know how to explain it.

[00:47:32] It's a personality disorder and basically you have a hard time Yeah. Managing your emotions essentially, because, so in theory, when you get mad, you get really, really mad, or when you get sad, you get really, really sad. So I become so emotionally dysregulated and I just actually went back on a mood stabilizer recently after being off for 10 plus years.

[00:47:51] Mm-hmm. And I'm like, I wonder. How certain things in my life would've worked out if I just was on the proper medication. But it's changed everything completely. the thing is, is like people will will know me, you know, I've had friends and they'll never see that side of me. But when you're in a relationship, you know, of course, especially when you're, you know, but [00:48:10] you've been with someone for four years and you go through a pandemic together.

[00:48:12] I mean, you really get to know someone. Yeah. And so Matt has been very supportive with me, cuz with borderline I just, there's no medication necessarily for the borderline. Yeah. If you have like depression, anxiety or whatever, there's medication for that. But in terms of like the emotional regulation, it's all talk based therapy so I'm in Got it.

[00:48:31] D B T, which is dialectical behavior therapy. Yeah. And so that's something I'm working on cuz for me on top of with the medication, like my life is just completely. So much better. Wow. And so, D B T teaches you tools for emotional dysregulation like distress tolerance mindfulness these are things that I didn't learn as a kid.

[00:48:49] so it has manifested into a personality disorder. Wow. So fun. Wow. Yeah. So that's something that in our relationship I'm working on because communication is key. And for me, I would just get really triggered, you know, cuz I get triggered and then just not, you'd shut off or I just like couldn't my, I just would [00:49:10] react and I I, I need to be able to slow down and that's what the medication does, is help me kind of slow down so that I can implement tools, process and skills to Yeah.

[00:49:17] Get through. Yeah. Whatever the distress is, you know. Wow, cool. So, yeah. What is the best relationship advice you've ever been given? you really have to be careful with who you choose as a partner because that plays into so much of your happiness and emotional wellbeing.

[00:49:32] Because who you spend most of your time with and that's gonna have a big impact in, in how you feel about everything in your day-to-day. So if your partner is toxic or you know, has toxic tendencies that they're not working on, that's gonna play a part into your Yeah.

[00:49:51] But the best, the best advice, I think is choose a partner that's willing to work on themselves, I love that constantly. I love that yeah. Right. Yeah, because. You're never gonna find someone who's perfect.

[00:50:00] You might some find someone who's perfect for you, but they're still not gonna be perfect ever. So unless somebody finds me, of course. find someone who's willing to on themselves. This [00:50:10] was a special question that Matt submitted. Yeah. I, he was like, babe, are you gonna submit?

[00:50:14] Can you guys have sex when you go home? Oh God. Of course. I knew he was gonna say something like this. I'm like, already blushing. Get the vibrator out babe. Get the vibrator started. Thank you so much for doing this. Of course. Thanks for having me. This is so fun. If people want more of you, how did they find you?

[00:50:31] Oh gosh. Let's see. I have so many pages now. I'm like, we didn't even get to Wolfie dms. I could have talked to you for another hour. Oh no. I'm so bummed. We're gonna have to do a part two. Yes, we will. Yeah. So I have a DMS account called Wolfie dms, which which is iconic, is basically all the best, worst comments and messages that I get and everything in between.

[00:50:53] A lot of really humbling stuff in there. Mm-hmm. And I have my account Rachel Wolfson on Instagram. I'm wolfie comedy on Twitter. I got a TikTok, I got YouTube. I'm back on Facebook, unfortunately where can't you find me? I'm everywhere. [00:51:10] So I love it. And then I have some ridiculousness episodes coming out. Oh, amazing. In the next month or so. And so tune in for that. I love it. Yeah. Thank you. We're gonna have to hang out again. I would love to. I one fight so fast. I know. When you said 10, I was like,