Is This Normal?! with Dr. Jolene Brighten

[00:04:43] Dr. Jolene Brighton. Welcome to Crimes of the Heart. Hi there. Thanks so much for having me. Before we jump in, I have to tell you something. Ooh, confession time. Yeah. When I posted that you were coming on the show, I got a DM from a friend of mine who said that you saved her life. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Pretty big deal.

[00:05:04] Yeah. Yeah. Not a confession time. I read that wrong. I was cooked completely off. she said that she was getting off the pill and that her health was just a mess, and she went and she saw all of these doctors who basically told her, this is your life now. This is normal. This is your life now. Mm-hmm. And then she found you and she found your book and she did your hormone reset and followed everything that you said to do.

[00:05:29] And she finally got her period again and her acne went away. And she just wanted me to relay that she owes a lot of her health today to you. Oh my gosh. That means so much. This is like, this is what gets me outta bed [00:05:43] in the morning, uh, besides a toddler who like jumps on my head. There's that. But this is like what really fuels me in what I do, and I really appreciate you taking the time to share that with me because there are definitely days where I'm like, does anyone even know?

[00:05:56] Like that I'm here? Is the, am I helping people? I think, and that happens before my period. Um, it happens to some of us that way. And so I really appreciate that and yeah, it means so much. No, I, I relate to that as well. I wish I had found you sooner. I have talked about this on the show before. one day I w so I have Hashimotos.

[00:06:15] Mm-hmm. And I also have cfs, chronic fatigue. and for those who don't know listening, I always describe chronic fatigue as long haul covid before Covid existed is the best way to think of it. One day, I woke up about three months into my relationship and I had no sex drive. Mm-hmm. Gone.

[00:06:33] And it ruined our relationship. I mean, it, it took a while, but, wasn't just that I didn't want to have sex with my partner, I didn't wanna have sex with myself. I just one [00:06:43] day and I went to 14 different doctors mm-hmm. Who all told me I was fine and that I probably just didn't like my boyfriend.

[00:06:51] Hmm. Yeah. now I'm wondering, I think that it was probably hormone related. Mm-hmm. In your experience, is that something that's normal? So what, let's break this down a little bit. So firstly, as I talk about in the book, so in the libido chapter, your metric is the one to measure.

[00:07:09] So whenever someone says, I have a low libido compared to what? If they're like, compared to my boyfriend, compared to, you know, my neighbor compared to anyone else, I'm like, I, who cares? we're not com. But if you say, I have a low libido compared to what it used to be, that's a sign.

[00:07:24] Something changed and something needs to be investigated. And while it could be a relationship issue, you just hit me off that you have Hashimotos. Hashimoto's for people who don't know, is an autoimmune diary condition that leads to the destruction of your thyroid gland. Because it is autoimmune, it is inflammatory, and anything that is inflammatory is going to [00:07:43] demand a cortisol response from your adrenal glands.

[00:07:45] And cortisol is a bit of a cog blocker doesn't, doesn't like you getting down. It's like we need to survive friends this. If we've got long-term cortisol pumping out, we need to survive. And as it's doing that, we can start to see shifts in other hormones. The other thing is our testosterone levels can go down when our inflammation is up.

[00:08:02] And this I also talk about in the book as well, is that when your inflammation's up, you'll take your testosterone and convert it into estrogen more re readily. So that can be another problem. We don't have testosterone. We have too much cortisol. When we're inflamed, we just don't feel good. I actually started talking about Hashimoto's related libido issues.

[00:08:22] don't even, maybe like a decade ago. And the number of people who were like, Hey, That's me. My doctor never said anything about it. I'm like, they, they don't tend to. And as somebody who has Hashimotos myself, I remember those days of like being in flares and what that was like. And like you do, your body is in full survival mode because an autoimmune condition is your [00:08:43] immune system hyperactivated against yourself.

[00:08:46] And it's important for people to understand that if you had the flu or covid or anything else that makes you sick, you're not in the mood. Why are you not in the mood? Because inflammatory cytokines are hitting your brain, these little chemical messengers. And they're you know what? It would be really great right now is if you were cranky and you isolated and you didn't wanna be touched because then you don't spread disease and it keeps everybody safe.

[00:09:07] And when you're having an autoimmune flare, that can certainly be happening in the brain as well. So there's a lot of things with hormones. And then what's also just your body's mechanism of keeping you and the whole tribe safe. Wow, that That was amazing. Yeah. Okay, so along those lines, I feel like it's probably a similar answer, but what are some signs that our hormones aren't normal?

[00:09:29] Yeah. Okay. So there's like all the stuff that we're told, right. Being tired all the time. I actually saw this gynecologist on social media and she was like, people the, you know that talk about hormone imbalance, they'll always say like, oh, [00:09:43] fatigue. And she's like, I don't even worry about fatigue.

[00:09:45] Everybody's tired. If my patient says they have fatigue, I don't even worry about it. And I was like, we have a problem. Like, what did you just say? Because fatigue could be on immune disease. Fatigue could be a hormone issue, fatigue could be cancer, fatigue can be a lot of things. But there is this badge of honor.

[00:10:02] That we are told we should wear as women, which is burning yourself out to exhaustion. And so we think like, oh yeah, you're a new mom, you're tired. Oh, you just, you know, you're a college student. You're tired, like being tired all the time. And specifically waking after a good night's rest and still feeling fatigued can be a sign of adrenal dysfunction.

[00:10:23] It can be a sign of hypothyroidism. So that's one of the things that we're told is normal. That's outside of the period stuff that we experience, right? So, feeling like anything will make you cry, bring you to your knees with tears before your period. That's not normal. That's a sign that most likely your progesterone's too low if you also are [00:10:43] having anxiety and can't sleep.

[00:10:44] Probably too low of progesterone if it's zapping right before your period. If you're having headaches and they're cyclical. Also, not something that we should accept is normal, that could be too high of estrogen levels. And as I talk about in the book, so I actually give a whole questionnaire. It's an intake symptom check for people to be able to dial in exactly what's going on in their hormones, that as I share in the book, lots of hormones go together.

[00:11:07] So it's very, very common to see the picture of, I have high cortisol, but also low cortisol symptoms because we can find that we're exhausted in the morning. Wired and tired at night. Uh, we can also see high estrogen and low progesterone going together because it can be that we're not getting our progesterone up.

[00:11:25] Estrogen's left unchecked and now we have PMs. We're feeling ragy before our period. We're feeling really hot, maybe sweaty, also having anxiety, those kinds of symptoms. And so because of that it can sometimes make it confusing what's going on. I'm hoping through my book, it's a whole, I mean, people are saying that it's really [00:11:43] helps clear things up for them, but it makes it a whole lot easier to dial in exactly what's happening for you so that you can go in and use the protocols in there to take care of those hormone issues.

[00:11:53] Yeah, I mean, we just really jumped in. I should have led with the fact that I, I personally read your book, love Your Book, think that it is really accessible and I, I mean that as a compliment. I think that you could have written a book that was really heady. And very medical. but you made it so that I felt like I wasn't being talked down to and I understood it and I didn't feel alone.

[00:12:16] And a lot of, I mean unfortunately with the health issues that I have, I related to so much of what you talk about in the book and there were a lot of supplements, tips, tricks, things that you've suggested that even today I still hadn't heard of. Mm. So Well, that's awesome. Yeah, and I appreciate those words.

[00:12:37] You know, I find that so often these medical books, doctors are [00:12:43] talking, doctors speak or people are like trying to prove like, Hey, I am so smart. Look at all the big words that I can use. I think there's this persona sometimes of I'm an author and this is how like authors should be and talk and, people don't.

[00:12:56] Make it accessible. And to me, looking at this topic, I'm like, listen, when do yeast infections come on? They like to come on at like 11 o'clock at night on a Saturday. And if you gotta roll over in bed and be like, what the hell is going on with my vagina? It should be simple, easy. You should be able to get the information you need and know what is going on and start addressing that.

[00:13:17] And the same is true with your hormones. there's a lot of really brilliant people out there. but I'm like, no one wants to hear a winding story about estrogen when they're just like, right now I have p s I feel awful. My breasts are so swollen in tender, I can't walk down the stairs.

[00:13:33] They just need an answer. They just were like, please give me the answer. And so I really just tried to think I've been there with a yeast infection on a Saturday night, no better way to spend your [00:13:43] weekends. But I've been there with yeast symptoms and what would I like? I would like to just get in and get out. I wrote the book so that you can get in and get out. 

[00:13:51] So just because you mentioned it, what is the difference between say, a yeast infection, BV or lichen sclerosis? Hmm. So yeast infection is one that is characterized by the itchiness, the white, sometimes clumpy, even cottage cheese, like discharge, and that can come on after antibiotic yeast and really, When we talk about yeast or bv, this is a pH disruption issue because these are normal organisms to have there.

[00:14:19] They're just overgrowing. When it comes to bv, that one can be tricky because there's an odor, but maybe there's not many other symptoms.

[00:14:28] You might experience that thin gray discharge, but otherwise it might be that you're like, something just doesn't smell right down there, and that is not you. That is bacteria producing an odor, even though you know the jokes of the internet will [00:14:43] make you think it's you. When it comes to something like Lyn Sclerosis, this is a chronic condition.

[00:14:48] You're going to have tissue changes that happen. There's not going to be the discharge and there's not going to be preceding things like, I had sex, or I used douche, or I had antibiotics that, that you can point to and be like, oh, that's what happened. 

[00:15:05] And the thing about lichen sclerosis is it's thankfully far less common than a yeast infection. Yeah, that's true. I've had all three and oh, so I was, well, you know, hey, gotta destigmatize it. well, friend, I mean, if anybody read my other book Beyond the Pill, yeast infections.

[00:15:22] I, I had so many while on birth control, nobody ever thought to tell me, the pill, the pill is the problem here. They were like, keep popping your pill and doing your moat until one day my vagina turned inside out and literally the vagina is the inside. But mine decided to debut on the outside because I had such a severe allergic reaction to moat.

[00:15:41] Worst day of my life. [00:15:43] Had to teach a spin class and was like, what is happening down there? Zero outta 10. Do not recommend Boric acid. Became my, my dear friend. Yeah. That's when he recommended it to me.

[00:15:53] Okay. So this is like 20 years ago, 20 plus years ago. So then now there's like TikTok and I see people, it's taking off on TikTok and they're like, doctors are gate keeping this and this is the best thing. And I was like, friend, I've been telling everybody about this for like 20 years because with my gynecologist, he was like, And at this time there's no boric acid suppositories. He's like, you gotta go to the pharmacy. You're gonna ask him for boric acid, then you gotta go to the health food store and you gotta get the gelatin capsules and you gotta pack it yourself. It's like, and then you gotta insert it. And like that's, I mean, I, yes, I did the thing and it worked amazing.

[00:16:27] And it was like totally my savior through all of that. turns out like once I stopped the pill, it was literally I stopped the pill. And like several months later I was like, Wait a minute. I've had no yeast infections. that's so weird. Um, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That it like a pH issue and [00:16:43] just were meant to feel so bad about it because like there's something wrong or gross with us when it really is, if you think, when you think about it in terms of just pH acidity things that are really neutral and have nothing to do with being. Slutty or, or gross.

[00:16:58] You guys can't see me. I'm putting them in quotes. Obviously I don't feel that way about it, but I know it's so hard. You're like, this is sarcasm. These are clothes, this is sarcasm. Yeah. Gosh, no, but you're so right, like one, there was one time I had, a severe yeast infection one of the many times and I went to the grocery and my debit card failed and I remember being in line and the guy that was the checker had to of course be in my public speaking class that I was in in college.

[00:17:23] And so there he is, the checker to telling me that my. Debit card failed, and I could not buy my yeast infection cream. So then I had to like, leave, go find my boyfriend, ask to borrow money, because my, you know, paycheck hadn't cleared yet. Oh my God. Well, I had a question that. Is in line with what we're talking about. [00:17:43] So can you talk about why people look at their underwear and they have bleach spots.

[00:17:47] Yeah. One, is that normal and two, why does that happen? It's totally normal. So, the pH of your vagina, it's about three to 4, 3, 3 and a half to 4.5. It's acidic.

[00:17:58] And some dyes will be liberated by these acidic juices. So what that just means is that there's a pH shift that happens on the dyes, on the underwear themselves that liberate them, and then once you wash them, now that dye is washed away. It's now removed from the fabric. And so there's nothing wrong with you.

[00:18:16] It's totally normal. It's actually a sign of a very healthy vagina, and it won't always happen because it depends on the types of dyes and materials and things that go together. So if you're not seeing it, it doesn't mean your vagina's unhealthy. And if you are seeing it great, your vagina's just fine.

[00:18:31] I literally did not know that. Had I read that and was like, oh, I'm asking that because I feel like other people don't know that. And that was such a wild fact to me. Yeah. That's [00:18:43] crazy. I love, I love that that's the thing that you're like, that was crazy. I didn't know that. Oh, tie dye, like panties.

[00:18:51] Yeah. I don't know. I, book is truly chock full of a lot of things where I went, wait, what? 

[00:18:56] What are some popular myths that people have about the female reproductive system? Hmm. I mean, there's so many of, why don't we even start so true? We could, oh, we could start with sex.

[00:19:09] We could start with periods. We could start with hormones. I mean, I, I, I'll go anywhere. Well, I think one of the myths is that vulvas all should look the same, that your labia menorah, which people call the inner lips, should be tucked inside. they shouldn't, there's no should around that 50% of people, they are protruding to the outside after you have a baby as you age.

[00:19:30] Like there's lots of reasons that that can happen if it wasn't already that way. or miss around the fact that you should have uniform color or it shouldn't be dark, like your anus shouldn't be dark or you shouldn't have dark labia. you have [00:19:43] more melanocytes in that area than other areas of your body.

[00:19:46] So these are the pigment producing cells, very concentrated. They respond to estrogen and it's supposed to have degrees of dark down there, I should say, because it might be, a darker shade of pink where it might be like mahogany like it, and there's a lot. It could just be brown, like there's a lot of variation and that's all normal, but we don't.

[00:20:05] See really anything more than the cosmetic conversations online. Mm-hmm. And so a lot of people are like, oh, it's supposed to be like all neatly tucked up and, symmetrical and u uniform and color. And it's not it. I've never seen one that is friends. It just doesn't exist. 

[00:20:23] Do women naturally have like a lower sex drive than men? No. False. This is such a myth. Uh, the, so in the libido chapter I get into like the nuance of like, what is going on with your hormones and what is going on psychologically. And there is this idea that libido is supposed to be [00:20:43] what researchers have termed spontaneous desire, which is.

[00:20:46] You're always thinking about sex. Your brain is always serving the land for sexual stimuli and then lighting up when it sees it. And that's what we see a lot in the movies. It's also what we experience at the beginning of new relationships. Um, and so that's something where people are like, I used to be that way.

[00:21:02] Why am I not anymore? And it is because brain's like achieved. We achieved the mission, and your default might be more of a responsive desire. And what responsive desire is is where I say like, you gotta get things going before they get going. So you might not be the person to initiate sex, but you really like sex.

[00:21:22] And you may not be the person who is going to be like, let me sense some sexy texts and like try to get things going later in the day. Or see your partner or something steamy on TV and be like, oh yes, like I'm into this. Your brain just might not pick up in that way. But once things start going and your brain is getting that stimuli, it's like, [00:21:43] oh yeah, like thi I like this.

[00:21:45] Let's do more of this. So, There's that kind of default way of being. But I also explain a research model from two researchers at the Kinsey Institute, Bancroft and Janssen, who explained the dual control model, which is this, they use the analogy of a gas pedal and a break. And when you consider how task sharing in a heterosexual relationship of a male and a female who cohabitate together is often disproportionately falling on the female counterpart, you can understand that she's got more breaks going.

[00:22:19] And so sometimes when you're cohabitating, and it can be any other human, but it tends to be men, it's why as a mother of two boys, I'm like, y'all have to know how to do your laundry dishes, all of it. You have no idea. And with that, it is these kind of. Stressors, what the researchers call breaks. So relationship dynamics, your own body image issues, you know, your concerns about how your body looks can be [00:22:43] coming into play, the stress of your day, like having to k cook meals and clean up and do all of these things.

[00:22:49] That can literally put, I use a train track that like if a train is sending a se sexy signal, those stressors are just laying down on the track breaks so that you can't get that signal to the brain. And so that can be another one of those variables why people think, oh, well women have, you know, they have a lower libido.

[00:23:09] And it's because can be sometimes harder for them to get there because the sexual stimuli has to overcome so many of the things in the day that shut down any want or desire for sex. It's so funny that you say that. I Spoke to, a relationship coach who works primarily with heterosexual couples, and she said for men who feel like their partner is not reciprocating in terms of matching their libido level, the first thing to do is turn and ask your wife, what is it that I could do to help get you in the mood?

[00:23:41] are there things that I could do today [00:23:43] so that we could have sex later? Mm-hmm. What is it that you need to be able to clear your schedule, clear your mind, get you from here to Yeah. The place where you feel like you wanna have sex. And I totally thought that's so fascinating. And, and what a great, what a great thing to start thinking about.

[00:23:59] Yeah, that's actually why I put the quiz in the book, in the libido chapter, which is assessing how sensitive your gas pedals and your brakes are. It's a really common intake form. It's truncated from a much larger questionnaire that is used in sexual psychology. And why I put it in there is so people could start to identify like, yeah, I have some pretty sensitive breaks here, or there are a lot of things that can, you know, get me out of the mood or prevent me from getting in the moon.

[00:24:30] But also it's something I encourage. Have your partner take it as well so you can have a dialogue because. These things can happen for men as well. 

[00:24:38] And I invite people to take that quiz and really understand it as part of the [00:24:43] 28 day program because it can be, sometimes those barriers are less around ovulation. almost always worse before your period, especially when progesterone is up. And progesterone's, like, we don't even need sex, you guys.

[00:24:58] We just need cuddles. Like we just need chocolate bars and potato chips and sweatpants. get me like a good snuggie. Like that's it. That's progesterone's agenda. Cuz progesterone's like from a, from a biological perspective is like you already ovulate. You had your chance to capture some sperm and make a baby and we are on baby train until you say otherwise.

[00:25:16] So we don't need sex. And if you are like most people and your progesterone and estrogen are just not dialed in where they should be, you might be like, I'm bloated, I'm cranky, like don't touch me. I can almost never have an orgasm right before I get my period. Is that the progesterone? So when we look at the inability to orgasm mm-hmm.

[00:25:37] It can sometimes be an estrogen serotonin issue. Usually estrogen is taking a backseat to [00:25:43] progesterone. during this time, this is also why like cravings go up, but not those kinds of cravings. okay, so let me explain this to everybody. So, H c g, you pee on a stick, you know you're pregnant if you've got h c G, that's what keeps the corpus lutia, the structure that is formed in the ovary after ovulation pumping out progesterone.

[00:26:01] But when there is no H c G, lh, your luteinizing hormone on your brain begins to decline. And now progesterone is declining. And so it could very well be like right before your period that progesterone is coming down, but estrogen's still up enough that you've got that serotonin around. And serotonin.

[00:26:18] Anyone who's on a SSRI is probably familiar with the side effect of anorgasmia. You can't orgasm. Your orgasms are like meh if you do get there, or it just takes forever to get there. These are known side effects. serotonin can cause that. And serotonin and estrogen go together.

[00:26:35] So if estrogen's out, serotonin can be up as well. Is there really anything to, to help with that? Oh, so if you hire an s [00:26:43] Sri, I talk about in the book Saffron, there's been research, so saffron supplements, but for everyone, I'm like at saffron in your diet because not only does Saffron help with, your libido, so yay and, and orgasms and all.

[00:26:56] It's like all good things sex, but it also helps with p m s and cramps. So like add some saffron, get yourself some Indian food. See, this is why people need to follow you on Instagram because I feel like this, this podcast interview and me just throwing random questions at you is exactly what your Instagram is.

[00:27:12] No, but it is, is it not? I mean, you are such a wealth of knowledge. It's like, yes, get the book. Follow her on Instagram because going to learn things like this every day, which is amazing. Yeah. Well I appreciate that. 

[00:27:24] Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, so on that, I mean, if I don't have sex for a really long time then I wanted a lot less. Mm-hmm. Is that normal? Well, I think, you know, sometimes when we're not having sex, we're putting our energy into other things and if nothing is like, preceded that, that's like a trigger or [00:27:43] medication or anything.

[00:27:44] Yeah. That can certainly be normal. It's also because I think, you know, we, we have this whole thing of like, oh, biologically speaking, we're always trying to have babies and like that's what our body's doing. But I've had patients that are like, I'm just not interested in sex ever. Is that normal? That's their normal. It's normal for them. They're asexual and there's nothing wrong with that. Again, when we get concerned is when like something, it's deviation from your normal and something's proceeded That, and if you have a problem with it, and if you're like, Nope.

[00:28:13] Doing other things, focus in on other stuff, not a problem. Yeah. So it's like if I notice a break in pattern and or it upsets me, that's when it's time to maybe do a more forensic look at my life and see what might have changed or what might be causing it. Mm-hmm. That's a great rule of thumb. I love that.

[00:28:30] could you maybe talk about for your period? Mm, yes. So there's actually a whole, digital cookbook that goes with, is this normal? I think the URL is on pH 3 0 2. I wanted to put [00:28:43] a meal plan and recipes in there, and my editor and my publishers were like, we don't want that.

[00:28:46] Every health book does that. But as a nutrition scientist, I was like, I'm struggling with this. So after I turn in the book, after it's going through all his edits, I'm like, I'm a write cookbook. I'm a write cookbook to go with it. So it has, I think 60 recipes and it goes week by week with your cycle.

[00:29:02] And so when you talk about eating with your period, I talk about that in there. And when we look at like, okay, eating with our period, so the first day that you have flow, that's your period, that's when we are going to wanna gravitate towards beef stews, so to speak. in Chinese medicine they see this as like a cold time.

[00:29:20] Same with like postpartum. So, Eating warmer foods, but also things that are richer in iron, b6, and folate, and also b12. These are things that build your blood stores and will help with your energy. So you're losing blood, you're not losing a ton. It's only like a shot glass or two, even though it feels like a lot more.

[00:29:41] But we still wanna build it up and [00:29:43] we still wanna support our body building that up and making sure that we're getting adequate iron. then I could keep going. I don't know if you want me to in the cycle. Yeah, sure. I mean, I, I think it's, to me, it was fascinating. Nobody's ever talked to me about that. I did not realize there were things that I could be doing to help myself feel better. And it's, It's not gospel. I mean, you're not saying you have to eat this way or you're gonna finish.

[00:30:06] Oh God no. you really need to trust yourself. I think there are a lot of people out there being like, you can only exercise this way on your period. Or you know, right before your period, you can only do this kind of movement. I'm like, you know, the US soccer team, uh, the gal who did the goal.

[00:30:21] won it, Yeah. She started a period the next day. Like there you can do it you're invincible. You know, what's interesting about leveraging foods is that, it's can be so simple as five days, seven days before your period, if you are someone who struggles with p m s, you really have those estrogen dominance kind of symptoms that you ramp up your cruciferous vegetables.

[00:30:42] Mm-hmm. And that can [00:30:43] help immensely. and so this is something for a very long time in my practice that I had, , specific things to be eating in that LAL phase. So that lal phase is after we ovulate and going into menstruation and looking, so in the back of the book, there's an appendix that's like, this is the nutrient, these are the foods that it's found in so that you can really access this information.

[00:31:05] And things like omega-3 S. Magnesium, cruciferous vegetables because those are going to deliver you or liver what it needs to process your estrogen in the best way. Starting to incorporate those the week before your period can be tremendous in terms of your p m s symptoms. You can do it even, you know, before then.

[00:31:24] And the other thing that I would say, that most people I feel like have really gotten the wrong message in terms of being like, oh, if you have cravings, you need to have willpower and you need to overcome that, but, As progesterone rises, so does our caloric need and what's descending is our insulin sensitivity, and [00:31:43] so we're gonna find that we crave more things.

[00:31:44] As I said before, estrogen is on the back burner if progesterone's up and therefore serotonin is down and that estrogen and serotonin can suppress appetite a bit. That's why before ovulation, you're like, I'm just gonna have a salad with some protein for lunch, and you're fine. And then before your period you're like, I need to eat a bowl of rice like I need, I need a lot more.

[00:32:04] And it's because your caloric needs, but also your carbohydrate utilization. Now, rather than just eating a bowl of rice, I definitely encourage. I mean, there's nothing wrong with rice, but like make sushi or, add in some fat and add protein to it. That way you don't get a blood sugar spike because if your blood sugar spikes then it falls, then you're gonna have even worse cravings.

[00:32:25] And then you're gonna feel like, oh my God, why can I not just stop at one piece of chocolate or one chocolate bar? And that's because hormones, that's because that's how you're designed. Yeah. Okay. So on the topic of periods, I saw something in your book that made me do a double take. When might be a bad time to have doggy style [00:32:43] sex?

[00:32:43] Hmm. Well, you, you, you gave it away, right? With the question. So, There is no bad time. I'll say that. If you're into it then and it's a good time, then it was the right time. But for some people, they notice discomfort when their cervix is lower, which is going to be around their period. So in the 28 day plan I take you through like, this is a good time to try like nipple stimulation.

[00:33:05] whereas like this time, don't touch. Yeah, don't touch the breast. Like they're not gonna be into it. And doggy style is one of those that can change with your cycle as well. Whereas when you get closer to ovulation and the cervix is higher up, it can be more accommodating Jew a penis. But around your period, that's when your cervix is going to be lower, the uterus is gonna be heavier, and that might be a little more uncomfortable.

[00:33:28] And so it just depends what's true for you. Blew my mind. Just blew my mind. I mean, it's, it's, it's just absolutely why, where are you gonna learn this information? Yeah, it's true. I can't say that on Instagram. I cannot say that on Instagram. 

[00:33:42] Can [00:33:43] women get pregnant on their period? So in general, when we're talking about like the first few days that you're bleeding, no. But here's the caveat to understand cuz there will be somebody that's like my cousin's best friend's sister got pregnant on her period.

[00:33:57] I always love it when it is really complicated like that because it seems like it's comical, but it's not because this is what can happen. So firstly, let me say I bust the mist in the book that everybody cycles 28 days and not everybody ovulates at 14 days. And o everybody ovulates smack dab in the middle of their cycle.

[00:34:13] And this is important because if you're like, oh, well it's day 10, I'll be fine. You may not in fact be fine. So it's possible. That you are having sex. Let's say you've got like this, stop again. Start again. Period. Also normal to have a day off. And then you're like, oh, you're back. And you know that's like around day six and you have sex, and then a day 10 you end up ovulating, like, oh, ovulation came.

[00:34:40] Sperm can live about five days [00:34:43] if you're trying to get pregnant. That's when we're like, oh, you know, give it about three days. we're not gonna bet on those swimmers. but if you're not trying to get pregnant, we're like, yeah, five, maybe six days. Okay. Like we, we wanna just be like, just be cautious and be like, we don't know.

[00:34:57] We, your uterus decides to keep them alive. Uh, she will win. So with that, it's not that you got pregnant on your period, and this is what's important to understand. It is impossible for implantation to occur when the uterine lining is shedding, and that is what your period is. And for anybody who has been on a fertility and journey, they understand this.

[00:35:17] And I hate that you have to be on a fertility journey to know this. 

[00:35:20] Mm-hmm. If your endometrial lining is too thin or it is shedding because of your period, there wouldn't be implantation. So that's just important to understand. You can't get pregnant while you're bleeding, but you can technically get a fertilized egg 

[00:35:34] and that then implants later. 

[00:35:37] Even with like plan B, I've had people argue with me and say, no, it, it causes an [00:35:43] abortion. And I'm like, respectfully, I do have a medical license.

[00:35:47] I can practice medicine. And I'm telling you that Plan B babies happen because it prevents ovulation. It prevents ovulation. And if you already ovulated and you already had a fertilized egg event, you will not stop that. It's not stopping it. 

[00:36:03] It is, yeah, it's really wild. I mean, all of it is really wild because again, most of my friends that I have talked to not realize some of the things that.

[00:36:13] We're talking about, not because they're ignorant, but because it never came up in our health classes. Exactly. If you've never struggled with infertility, your doctor likely hasn't informed you of this, and then people are like, well, why don't women know this stuff? We shouldn't be shaming people for not understanding their bodies. Like this information hasn't been made accessible and it's not something that we should just be acting like everyone should just know this.

[00:36:37] And if they don't, that's their fault. Also, everybody's body is different. Like the way that you are [00:36:43] gonna handle PMs or pregnancy is not the same way that I would. I mean, the fact that one in four women are going to experience hair loss of some sort.

[00:36:53] Mm-hmm. And, and I had never heard that talked about until I personally experienced it. Yeah. And I felt crazy. And like the only one. And then I realized, wait a second, a quarter of the population is gonna go through this and we just don't talk about it. Mm-hmm. And I didn't know that Hashimoto's was something that.

[00:37:10] Again, I think it's like of people that have thyroid issues. I think it's like one in three women. I, I, I'll figure out if that stat is incorrect. That's a lot of people that have thyroid or hormone issues that affect every aspect of their life. And it wasn't until it's like people like you or I found Isabella Wentz and that I found very specific doctors.

[00:37:31] I never knew that Selenium could help improve my life. Mm-hmm. I never knew about magnesium and these are little things in addition to, you know, the hormone therapy that I have to, to take to [00:37:43] literally survive. You know, there's

[00:37:44] Honestly, that's why I'm so grateful that you came and shared your time and your expertise with us because, I really respect you and I, I love your, your mission and your journey and your book.

[00:37:55] And I, I follow you on Instagram and I, I, I honestly can't wait to see what you do next, Oh, well, thank you so much and I, I appreciate you taking the time to read my book have this conversation with me. And I think that the only way we're gonna change women's medicine for the better is to educate women and put the medicine in their hands.

[00:38:13] You know, as you were just talking about all of that, the thing that came up for me is that I talked about in the book, um, the Sex of All Kinds chapter starts with talking about pain with sex and talking about endometriosis and all of these conditions that get dismissed. And as you were just saying, all of this is thinking about how, you know, there was a study done that found that women who went to the emergency room with severe stomach pain.

[00:38:36] Now, if you are a man and a woman, there are things that you share. It could be appendicitis, for example, but if you [00:38:43] have ovaries and a uterus, it could be an ectopic pregnancy, it could be something life-threatening like ovarian to like very serious. But Women were left to wait almost 33% longer than men when they presented with the same symptoms in an emergency room. And so when you look at those stats and you really let that sink in, we literally have to know this to advocate for ourselves so that we survive.

[00:39:09] Survive. Medicine shouldn't be a thing, but surviving medicine is literally like what where we're at at this stage right now as women, because we are gaslit and dismissed at such a very high rate. So I mean, I just appreciate you so much. This is why I wrote my book and I do what I do because I'm like it.

[00:39:29] We're gonna change it. We're gonna change it, but it's not through me and it's not through any doctor. It's going to be through the patients who are demanding better. I, I know you have to go, but what you said reminded me of something that I just saw go viral on TikTok that [00:39:43] I personally experienced.

[00:39:44] And I have a female gynecologist who I, I love, but I had to get HPV cryo off on my cervix, and I was told that there would be no pain medicine. Oh, good. You, I'm so mad already. And so I just was like, okay, that, that is what it is. And, I'm a person that has torn their M mcl. I have tattoos, I have a pretty high pain tolerance, and I just want everybody to know that my blood pressure dropped so low that 30 minutes after the procedure, I fainted not once, but twice, trying to get to my Uber.

[00:40:16] Hmm. there's a male pain specialist on TikTok who has made, and I've backed him up, I think it's Dr. Sud videos about how the cervix does have nerves, how we should be anesthetizing, we should be doing, something for pain management for women in the United States. And what was really interesting is to see all of these female gynecologists attack him, say like, there's no reason to do this.

[00:40:41] Like, it was like a whole [00:40:43] thing. I was just like, everybody was getting their popcorn and just watching. But what really ramped up and I loved it, was the number of women telling their stories and saying, I live in this country. My doctor said they would never do an I U D without anesthesia. I live in this country. My doctor said they would never do that.

[00:40:59] They would never biopsy my cervix without anesthesia. Here are all these women from all these other countries. And I was like, that was the the moment where I was like, how can you deny? Hundreds of thousands of women saying it was painful. It was horrible.

[00:41:13] In the face of you being a gynecologist saying there's no nerves there, there's nothing we can do. The anesthesia would hurt more. I'm making all your freaking excuses for your barbaric practice of medicine. And yes, many gynecological procedures as they're done in the US are barbaric and some of which cost women their lives.

[00:41:30] And this is something that, you know, we didn't even get into. But now not only do we have all these women that were being gaslit, but then we have all these women from other countries that are doing it. Successfully. And then we've doctors from other countries being [00:41:43] like, the hell, what are you doing over there in the us?

[00:41:46] How in the hell do we get change? How in the hell do we get change when ego is standing in the way of the experience of the patient that's in front of us?

[00:41:56] was awful. Dude, my i u d was like the worst pain. I've had two unmedicated labors. Okay, two babies into this world. Do that again. Unmedicated. I u d. Never. No. That was the worst thing I ever I know, and it's crazy because you probably wanna, recommend, I, I also have an I u d, I have the marina, and I wanna re recommend it to people because I think it's a really great form of, it's so reliable.

[00:42:16] Let me say that for everybody listening. It's so reliable. And there are things that they can do to manage your pain. Please don't let me dissuade you, but for me and the way I'm wired, and I will say I've had many body piercings that nobody has seen or knows about. those were fine, but this piercing of my cervix with a tenaculum was not fine.

[00:42:36] And I was in a lot of pain. And I will say though, this might not happen to you because my best friend at the time, She got an i u [00:42:43] D the week before me and she was like, oh, I took the bus there and then I just decided to walk home because I was like, it would be good to move my pelvis and la la la la.

[00:42:51] And I was like, cool, this is easy. And then I was like screaming on the table and I was just like crying, just crying quietly, like in pain. And it was just absolutely horrible. And I tell that story because one person had absolutely no problem. Yeah. This person had all the problems. And, uh, I still loved the pregnancy prevention. And the side effects were so much more minimal than the birth control pill for me. And so this is all to say there is no one size fits all to birth control and there's no one size fits all experience.

[00:43:22] And there are doctors out there, you have to shop around, but there are doctors who will make you comfortable and make it successful for you. It a, they absolutely do exist. Cuz that was the other thing that came out. In like the TikTok wars of like 2020 when we were all stuck at home was that there were doctors being like, I'm in the United States.

[00:43:41] I do this. I do a conscious [00:43:43] sedation, I do this, I do that. Like different things to make women comfortable. So they absolutely exist and please do not let my personal story my IUD sucking dissuade you if you feel like it's right for you. Because 99% accurate, like, yeah, effectiveness, that's hard to beat.

[00:43:58] It's hard to beat. It's hard to beat. It's hard to beat. I also, I love mine as well and we had very similar stories and I just wanted to share it because when you are talking about feeling gaslit, I was like, I've never felt more gas lit than being told that this is like an easy thing or a, a small procedure and then fainting twice.

[00:44:17] I mean, yeah, I was found, I was found on the floor, you know, so it, and that's serious cuz you could have ended up with a head injury and not everybody comes back from those. Yeah. And I, and I'm pretty tough so, it it, it's nice to be having this conversation more widely with more women. And I do think, to just tag onto what you said, advocating for yourself is the first step.

[00:44:38] Mm-hmm. Finding, finding a doctor that respects not [00:44:43] only your, your body, but also like your pain threshold, trusts you and trusts you. When you say, I, I don't think that, I'm going to be able to handle this. Yeah. And I would also say and share your story.

[00:44:54] Yes, we are told not to talk about these things cuz they're uncomfortable or shameful or, or whatever. Or because somebody will jump in and be like, actually my doctor said the cervix has no nerves. And it's like, actually it does cuz cervical orgasms is getting on my nerves. Well played. But I think that not only is telling your story healing, it's very healing to express that, to share that it is also something that you never know who is going to be healed by hearing your story or know they can advocate for themselves, know that there is another way out there or know there's even a possibility of a life outside of what their doctor has said.

[00:45:32] This is your normal and paints that picture. And so this is what I love about social media. And I think people really underestimate the power of their story. exactly. I ask everybody that comes on my [00:45:43] show this question, what is the best love advice you've ever been given? Oh man, really? I feel, I feel like it's gonna be like so cliche, but you gotta start with loving yourself. You absolutely have to start with loving yourself unconditionally.

[00:45:56] The way you're looking at me now, I'm like, maybe it's not cliche, but loving yourself unconditionally and in, in such a way that you know, you know your value. And I think from there you love in a different way. when you can love yourself, like, and you know that capacity, like you love in a different way, but you also have standards and you will not settle for anybody who doesn't value you.

[00:46:17] And that's really the reality is if you don't value yourself, then your bar is already on the floor.

[00:46:22] Dr. Jolene Brighton. If people want more of you, where do they find you? If you want me, uh, dr brighton.com is my main hub. I have tons of free articles and resources. Uh, if you've got hormone problems, they're, the answers are already there. You don't have to wait for me to post on Instagram, but if you do [00:46:43] like to take it in Instagram bite-sized trunks, then you can find me at Dr.

[00:46:47] Jolene Brighton, that's Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube. So I'll be, I'll be getting around, I will be linking, to your Instagram and also for people to buy your book in the notes of this podcast. Thank you so, so, so much. Really, this, uh, this was a highlight of my week. Oh, thank you. This was a, uh, this is definitely an excellent conversation.

[00:47:08] I'm like, I can't say it's my favorite podcast, cuz other people will hear it.

[00:47:12] ---------------------------------------------------------------------------

[00:47:12] I wanted to run through some questions that I got from people just to make sure that I answer them, is it normal to get really bad digestive issues, during your period?

[00:47:22] Hmm. So if we're talking about period poops? Yes. I actually, I was talking to somebody about this the other day and I was saying, oh, magnesium can be helpful. And she's like, yeah, magnesium citrate, natural calm, like, that's my favorite. And I was like, you will, you will shut yourself friend.

[00:47:36] wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Back this up. Okay. So. What happens is that firstly, progesterone goes up During that late [00:47:43] lal phase, you can find yourself a little more constipated, a little more bloated, so you're not maybe evacuating as efficiently and effectively, and so you're filling and maybe even miss a day and you're constipated.

[00:47:52] Then what comes on is prostaglandins. Now, I can bet that if you have diarrhea or even loose stools, you also have painful cramps because that's what prostaglandins do and they don't care who they're calling causing to contract, whether it's your uterus or your bowels. They just, they, they are like everybody's game here.

[00:48:09] And so they're hormone like chemicals. will cause those contractions. We've got bad cramps, but we also have diarrhea. They're derived from omega fatty acids. So I talk about in the book, increasing your omega-3 fatty acids. I give you tips for diet, but even getting like 2000 milligrams of omega-3 supplement in every day can help with that as canned magnesium.

[00:48:28] And I recommend magnesium glycinate, not natural calm. I love the taste of natural calm. They have done a great job with that. And when I travel, I'm like, yes, let's, let's definitely keep the bowels moving so we don't get acne. That is something that [00:48:43] will cause you to move more stool. So citrate pools, water into the intestines.

[00:48:49] That form of magnesium can cause diarrhea in anybody, but certainly diarrhea if you already have elevated prostaglandin. So magnesium, bisg, glycinate, or glycinate is what you will see. That's what we wanna opt for. That has the best research when it comes to menstrual cramps, when it comes to, mood symptoms, when it comes to sleep, when it comes to PMs, things that are related to women's hormones, that's the form you wanna go for.

[00:49:11] Yes, that's the form I use. Check.

[00:49:16] -------------------------------------------------------

[00:49:16] I Have endometriosis and after three surgeries and an i u d, the pain still exists. Mm-hmm. Is it okay for me to ask for a hysterectomy?

[00:49:24] This is, so, I just wish that a hysterectomy would cure this. And this is like, the hardest thing to have to tell someone is that endometriosis is a condition in which the tissue exists outside of the uterus. So with adenomyosis, which is I say in the book is like a cousin of [00:49:43] endo, hysterectomy can be helpful with endometriosis.

[00:49:45] Those lesions can be, , outside of the reproductive tract altogether. So they could be on your bowels, they can be on ligaments. I mean, they, they've been found in lung tissue. So this is a condition that's poorly studied in medicine in terms of like, for how long we've acknowledged it exists, we really lack the understanding of what's happening and what it looks like is that it's an autoimmune disease and it is potentially something that got set up in utero in some people.

[00:50:12] one thing I will say that I talk about in the book and I think is worth exploring is the role of endocrine disruptors in your life. Because that's an area where having surgeries, yes, that may be absolutely necessary. There's lots of things you can do dietarily, but I want to be honest with people that diet, there are people out there that are like, I just changed my diet and everything's great.

[00:50:33] And we love that. We love that for them. It doesn't always work for everyone. It definitely helps, isn't gonna be like this cure-all that some people promise. but endocrine [00:50:43] disruptors, we do understand they do, are playing a strong role in endometriosis, P C O S, ovarian insufficiency or P O i a lot of these conditions.

[00:50:51] And so I would look at your air quality like in your house? Do you have air fresheners? Do you have fragrance? Start looking at personal care products and understand that just like endo didn't develop overnight, neither d neither does a detox of your home, so to speak. You don't have to do that, but you can look at phasing things out.

[00:51:08] So phasing out things with fragrances, switching to glass I'm looking at my mason jar right now. It's, people are always like, I have to go out and buy all this glass and get rid of plastic in my kitchen. And I'm like, I use mason jars, I use old pasta jars. Like it's, yeah, keep it simple. Be lazy.

[00:51:22] but things like Teflon pans that have forever chemicals cleaning up, like what is going on your skin, what's in your home that you're breathing and what you put in your mouth can go a long way in these conditions. Your home is the environment you can control outside of that. You've gotta let it go.

[00:51:40] You've gotta just be like, I'm doing the best I can. But [00:51:43] that's definitely an area with endo that I would look at. And I think it's important to understand that while you won't have the cyclical, cyclical bleeds with endo, if you take out your uterus, uh, cuz I didn't say that's what a hysterectomy is for everybody who doesn't know you might not know, but it won't necessarily take care of all the lesions.

[00:52:00] Wow. That's. Oh, there's still doctors recommending it. Just like there's doctors that are like, oh, you have endo, just have a baby. I'm like, there's no evidence that that's gonna do anything. And then you're in pain having to take care of a baby as a mom taking care of two babies. I can't even imagine it if I was exhausted by endo pain and having to deal with all of that and getting up in the middle of the night and having to feed other people, let alone myself.

[00:52:25] Yeah, it's, it's, it's pretty wild. 

[00:52:28] Here's like another pretty serious question, So this came from a woman who was recently diagnosed with the BRCA two gene. Mm-hmm. And so for people that don't know, that's the, cancer gene, and it's been recommended to her that she have, her [00:52:43] boobs removed and then her ovaries removed. Mm-hmm. And she was wondering because nobody, every time she goes to ask about it, people kind of look at her and then don't say anything.

[00:52:51] Is menopause just menopause across the board or is it different when you have your ovaries removed? So if you have your ovaries removed, you're gonna go through menopause sooner. The acceptable age, the youngest is 45. The average woman goes through menopause, about 51. Going through menopause earlier without hormone replacement therapy increases your risk of morbidity and mortality.

[00:53:13] So, You will live a, you know, potentially more difficult life when you go through menopause early without getting that hormone replacement therapy. And what I mean by that is having your brain beginning to degenerate, losing memories, losing the ability to function or be on your game like you used to having, muscle mass loss, bone loss.

[00:53:36] These are very, very important organs for longevity, especially muscle tissue. This is something that [00:53:43] as women, we lose quickly as we age, and we will lose it even faster as we go through menopause. So surgically induced menopause does have risks and consequences. It is very important to take it from an individualized perspective of like, well, what is your family history?

[00:53:58] What's your risk? And if you're going to have your ovaries removed, then cons asking your doctor, so what are we looking at for hormone replacement therapy? Because at this current time, Well, conventionally, a lot of doctors will still be like, no, you don't want hormone replacement therapy, or, oh, it's too dangerous, or this and that.

[00:54:14] the evidence is very strong that if somebody goes through premature menopause for any reason, that they absolutely need to have hormone replacement therapy. So they do not develop degenerative diseases or possibly cancer of other kinds or death. We don't want any of that. No, no. Those don't sound like, um, those aren't sexy.

[00:54:34] No, they're not sexy. No, they're not fun either. Yeah. No, not at all. okay.